Mom brain

I use Marco Polo to video chat with my kids and hubby. It is an easy app that works like a video walkie-talkie. It’s great to see their faces while chatting, and I have the app on my tablet and phone.

I had a chat with my son last night that was a bit unnerving. We were talking about them preparing for Hurricane Irma who is now a category 5 and is likely to hit Florida. My kids live in Orlando. The governor of Florida has declared the entire state in emergency status.

Our family are still dealing with damage and clean up of my aunt and her children who live in the Houston area. Waiting for updates was stressful. Watching Harvey hover over Seabrook was scary. Even a hurricane prone region with time tested preparation can only handle so much water and wind.

My son and daughter-in-law are living in our 5th wheel in an RV park. It is water tight so rain isn’t an issue, but the wind is the nemesis of a trailer. He was talking about locating the nearest shelters, storing important documents and possessions, asking us to check on our insurance coverage: it gave me pause. My first thought was a mom thought “I have to go to him!” but then the reality of the situation expanded in my mind and that’s the last thing he needs.

He is a smart man, with common sense. If he needs to he will talk to his dad about the details, and take care of his wife and himself. I know this rationally, but my mother brain wants to protect him. He’s my baby. It would be no different with my daughter. I’ve told hubby if a big earthquake happened in LA I would go. But…she is strong and smart, and unless she calls I would be in the way.

Yet, it is hard to stay here. I will pray and wait.

Cheers!

-N

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I’m blocked!

I’m blocked! The muse has fled and left me in a puddle of no inspiration. I’ve searched through notes, tried to play with plotting, looked for images, talked it out with a few people, pretty much everything that should get the creative brain plugging on.

I’m confused about why this is dragging on.

Some of this is because of stress I’m sure. There are several things stressing out this woman. My mother living here and being responsible for her everyday care has messed with my writing schedule and space. She needs help with everything from getting her meals to showering. It’s almost as if the everyday grind of reality has squashed the fantasy world this writer lives in when the words flow.

All of my focus is her and what she needs. It’s true when they say we change places with the parent at a certain point in aging. It seems I am on-call so to speak.

Maybe I need an escape, but I’m bound here right now. Perhaps the inspiration is just on vacation.

What do you do when the cursed writers block strikes?

Cheers!

-N

Lessons in graceful aging

My mother has always been outgoing, fun loving, and outspoken. She is a deep down Texas girl , and an over the top Arizona Wildcats fan. In fact this woman is a true sports fan. Depending on the season her TV will be showing football, basketball, baseball, softball, tennis, golf, volleyball; she knows and loves most sports.

She raised three daughters, while married to a career military man, moving from state to state, per the orders of the US Air Force. She adapted, was fearless, instilled love and family values, and made sure dad was able to do the things he needed to in his job.

She spent months on her own caring for myself and my sister Lisa while my dad was stationed in Germany. She had been very sick during her pregnancy, and after delivery had gall bladder surgery (a big deal in 1956) so they felt she should stay behind (she hated that she missed it.)

She managed, sometimes barely, during his constant TDY to Phan Rhang, Vietnam while being stationed in the Philippines at Clark Air Base. Looking back I’m not sure I would have done as well living in a foreign country alone while my husband was gone for two or three months at a time to a war zone.

Once we girls were older she always had a part time job. Whether it was working in the pro-shop at the base golf course in Misawa, Japan or as a teacher’s aide at Homer Davis School in Tucson, Arizona. She worked in the athletic department of the University of Arizona for decades, meeting countless people who would remember her whenever they saw her. There were times she was distracted with responsibilities outside of the home, and I was amazed at her energy and will to get things done.

She spent years keeping things stable for us girls while dad worked shift work at ASARCO mines. When dad was seriously injured on the job and was disabled from the injury she diligently cared for his wounds, kept up the house, babysat her grandchildren, and continued to take part time employment. I could write a book, hmm.

Now she is a sprightly 86, and her age is becoming a factor in her lifestyle.

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After my dad passed away she lived with Chuck and I, and it worked well as long as she could drive. But age related macular degeneration left her vision impaired enough she couldn’t pass a vision test so no more driving. I’ll admit we were all thankful to the DMV for that one. With my husband and I both working full time she spent many days sitting in front of the TV, talking on the phone and waiting for one of us to come home. She was getting bored and felt very lonely. Local family members would come and take her out when they could, but their situation was the same -working full time. At one point my sister and I noticed symptoms of depression, and worried her health would start failing. After a heart to heart with her about it she consented to a search for a fun place to live.

She moved into a retirement community, not assisted living which she is quick to clarify, and has done very well for several years. She was busy with the activities they offered, she made lots of friends, she could share interests with other residents, and she seemed to blossom with youth. However, in the last year we have all noticed a slowing, frequent illness, less participation, and her own acknowledgement that she is weaker. She has started using a walker giving her a bit of independence, but she is having a painful problem with one of her knees, and a related problem with her hip.

It gives me pause.

I just talked to her about the Arizona Wildcats basketball team being the Sweet Sixteen, and she is so excited about it. She recalled her years working at the local games, and wants to talk to anyone about the game. She can hold her own with the best of them. She even worked a Super Bowl in Phoenix and was interviewed on local television about her participation. The Dallas Cowboys were playing in the game, and she was and is a Dallas fan.

So…we keep watching with envy, this woman who is pushing through life with pride, determination, and joy. Go mom!

Cheers!

-N